Dirty Dozen: The Kinkiest Valentine’s Gift Guide Ever

Originally posted at: Lingerie Talk By Richard

Is this the year that sex toys finally come out of the closet … or the nightstand … or the Tupperware in your sock drawer … or wherever you’ve been hiding them all these years?

The erotic novelties industry is bracing for its biggest Valentine’s Day ever, thanks almost entirely to the phenomenal success of 50 Shades of Grey (and its imitators).

More than 60 million copies of the 50 Shades trilogy are now in circulation, heating up bedrooms and imaginations the world over. If ever there was a time to throw off the shackles of sexual conservatism and embrace, ahem, a different sort of self-restraint, that time is now.

And gentlemen, it’s also time to pay attention to what women are reading and what they really want. If you’ve talked yourself out of buying erotic V-Day gifts for fear of offending her, give your head a shake, get with the program …. and go watch the ‘Rabbit’ episode of Sex and the City.

The task this year is made easier thanks to a boom in premium erotic goods, whose price tag alone is enough to make them highly coveted gift items. Yes, your starter bondage kit really could become a family heirloom, the sort of thing you keep in your wall safe, not under the bed.

First-time shoppers are often a bit put off by the vast assortment of tawdry, kitschy items and the overall cheapness of the sex toys market. But numerous high-minded brands, from Lelo to Coco to Kiki, have done the noble work of creating a market niche where one never existed before — luxury accessories that bring class, novelty and creativity to your bedtime fun. Ironically, these brands offer a lot more than just 50 ways to frolic.

After exhausting (trust me) research, Lingerie Talk has compiled our first Kinky Valentine’s Gift Guide, featuring some of the most unusual and stimulating products available today in this rapidly expanding market. No battery-operated goodies here — you can find plenty of those anywhere — but lots of items to help you both discover new pathways to pleasure.

Let’s get started …

Silk bondage scarves — meant to be worn with their matching collars, belts and cuffs.

These silk beauties offer endless style possibilities and work as fashion pieces on their own.

Petting Ring — Betony Vernon’s “petting ring” has been featured in high profile photoshoots with Christina Aguilera and Angelina Jolie. While it may look like a simple curved ring that connects your thumb and index finger, let’s just say that its ergonomic shape is designed to make any hands on experience extra enjoyable.

Wildly original (it was inspired by yoga) and profoundly stimulating, this “jewel tool” from Betony’s Paradise Found collection was actually exhibited at the Victoria and Albert Museum.

If you still can’t tell how it’s used, Betony includes illustrations on her website and Christina Aguilera was nice enough to offer a demonstration in the photo above, from her Bionic album. Luckily, the censors had no idea what she was doing.

Love Is Art — debuted this expressive romantic gift a couple of years ago and it became an instant hit among couples looking to make a one-of-a-kind statement.

The idea is simple: spread out the included canvas on your floor or bed, drench yourself in paint, then get busy. The resulting product is a lasting, and real, depiction of an amorous moment in time … like a Jackson Pollock done with Nuru gel.

Spanking Nickers — Are you always telling her she’s got a great a**? Well, prove your love with these naughty little bloomers from the industry leader in perverse intentions.

Follow these instructions carefully: Unfasten the enamel buttons on the backside of these silk babies; lower flap; apply discipline. Repeat as desired.

When offered as a Valentine’s gift, Coco’s spankers will make your beloved think you’re a freak. Remember, this is a good thing.

Available in purple, candy pink and black.

Box of Grey — These red-hot gift packs offer very expertly curated gift sets of BDSM and fetish-lite products for everyone from beginners to experienced adventurers.

BOG offers eight different fantasy-theme sets and a dozen special-occasion packages. Each one is different and contains an assortment of pleasuring products from top designers. Order from: Extreme Restraints


Nappa leather fig leaf studded with Swarovski crystals on one side and small spikes on the other. Suitable for rubbing, spanking and a host of other BDSM entertainments, but it could double as an objet d’art just as well.

The Pinwheel is a dual-purpose device that can be used with or without the electric juice to create prickly sensations on your skin. It’s probably good for finishing pie crusts, too.

Pleasure Pillow You can find a variety of inexpensive pillows, wedges and other amorous supports in erotica shops.

Each satin pillow (there are large and small versions) includes hidden slits and bondage ties to keep your lover securely at your service. Alternatively, they can be used as lovemaking supports.

Bondage Straps There are a LOT of starter kits out there for couples looking to investigate the world of bondage, S/M and fetish play … and you don’t need to pay Kiki’s prices to get into the act.

Exquisite collection of lambskin cuffs, leather straps and matching paddle is the ne plus ultra of pleasure packs. Safe word not included. Order from: Extreme Restraints

Chrome-plated massage stone If you’ve never had a hot stone massage, you probably won’t immediately see the potential.

Warm it up, add a few drops of oil and let the heavy petting begin.

Here’s an idea: this year, instead of waiting for your BF to show up with a last-minute Valentine’s Day trifle, why not take the initiative and surprise him with an invitation to erotic play.

If vanilla sex doesn’t really do it for you, imagine the bounty that Valentine’s Day could be if you decided to celebrate it the BDSM-friendly way – with all the necessary kink toys.

Whether you’ve always looked at handcuffs with a glint in your eye or got interested in kink thanks to Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s a fun playground to express your sexual personality and have fun with your partner. If you’re a beginner, start slow and enjoy the exploration.

Fifty Shades of Grey may be a popular book, but it’s a poor guide when it comes to properly honoring the rules of BDSM. For that, you’ll need to turn back to some of the classics in the genre. We have a handy list right here we highly recommend: BDSM Novels to Curl Up With for a Steamy Night In

The Obedience Extreme sex bench The sex bench is a dream when it comes to bondage gear. It provides padded comfort for extended play, and the ergonomic design allows for both anal and oral penetration. And since it’s made with leather, clean-up is a breeze!

Over-the-door sex swing Designed with super strong nylon, this over-the-door sex swing is durable, fully adjustable, and will support up to 400lbs–making it a solid (and simple) alternative to mountable sex swings.


Harnessed strap-ons: require a harness to “strap (the dildo) on” to you or your partner. Sometimes harnessed strap-ons include a vibrator for the wearer. A few sex toy companies have designed packages that include a dildo and harness, but they’re not always the most cost-effective or practical options, especially since you can use a harness with almost any of the toys you already own. And since there a few different harness designs, you won’t know which fit you like best until you try it out.

Strapless strap-ons: don’t require any straps to keep the dildo in place. Instead, the wearer grasps their end internally – making the entire experience way more intimate than you ever could with a harness. Some of these are even designed to work with a bullet vibrator.

As aforementioned, there are four types of harnesses:

  • Corset
  • G-string
  • Jock fit
  • Lingerie

Just as their names suggest, the differences between these harnesses are how they fit. Which means some harnesses are easier to adjust and more customizable than others. But that doesn’t make any one of them better or worse, it’s all about what you’re most comfortable with. So to help get you started: Extreme Restraints has the most popular harnesses you can get online.

In addition to thigh straps, a corset harness binds at the small of your back – which provides additional support (and looks hot).

A two-strap harness or g-string is designed to wrap around your waist and then in between your legs. It doesn’t offer as much control as other harnesses with thicker straps or leave the wearer exposed, however, it does stimulate the groin area which is a huge plus for some.

Designed to be worn like regular underwear, these types of harnesses are super comfortable and easy to get away with wearing underneath regular clothes. However, they’re not the best choice for supporting heavier toys, so keep that in mind.

Read more:

10 Best BDSM Toys

Extreme Restraints

Adult Toys

On line BDSM Swingers Club

Swingers Club

Exclusive Manhattan sex party

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